Hello my dears,
so first I want to say – don’t get the title of this blogpost wrong. For me Bookstagram is the most generous, kind and uplifting community I know and it is half of my life! BUT I’ve witnessed, that it’s not so easy for all of us. And so I thought I might address this topic and kill it with kindness – or in my case – irony and sarcasm. So don’t feel offended if it gets a bit too salty, but I have stuff to say.
Sometimes the sentence “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all” should be more prominent. Especially when people are talking about other peoples hobbies or love interests, genre likings or art.
Bookstagram and our blogger should be a safe haven, a space of freedom and happiness. This week I wrote a blogpost and the first reaction I got was a mere negative comment. As a smaller blogger who barely gets comments or any recognition at all, it hurts to see a comment that tears you and your opinion down. Or a comment that reminds you, that you have no idea what you are talking about. I never understood why people would do that to others. My motto is “spread love and gain love.” because that’s how it functions.
Young Adult/ New Adult what is this new hell?
That is a thing I’ve seen quiet often in bookstagram. People telling other people that they are talking crap and don’t have any idea what they are talking about. Weeeeeellll.
The person who can tell apart all the books in their matching genre is my personal hero and shall get an award, because I can not. Young Adult, New Adult, children Fiction, Romance, Bromance – well you get what I mean. It can get confusing and who are we to bash people who don’t know that “the hunger games” is a young adult book. Or is it a dystopian novel? Science fiction? I am giving up.
For me most books fit into different genres at the same time – and should we really argue about that, instead of hating on Tamlin or this crazy bitch that robs our love interest from the main character? There a greater things at stake! In most books the world is ending, weddings are crashed and high schools are full of demons, so why should we bother to argue about the genre, instead of diving back into these worlds? As on most topics in my opinion people should reconsider what really matters – and what is only semantics.
Romance/ Erotic books
Oh this wee topic that drives me crazy on a daily base. I just want to counteract to some stuff I heard about this, that made me angry and roll my eyes, so that they nearly got stuck in the inside of my apparently traumatized head.
“Romance/ Erotik books are like pornos in bookish form.”
Oh dear. Even if they are – whats the problem? First sex sells. And I see this on a daily base. Mostly with half naked women in the main role. A women in lingerie laughing her ass off because of this great new toothpaste. Funny story indeed. Or half naked women presenting cars on an exhibition – wait what, I thought women have to stand in the kitchen and cook, because we don’t have any clue regarding cars? Yep the world is a hypocrite. We may present the things we don’t even have a plan about, but we are the nicest accessories they get so why not. Irony off.
We have many many problems in this world, but young women reading about great and extraordinary sex is none of them. They deserve this! It has so many benefits (learning what they want, what they like, whom they like!) and in my opinion doesn’t even fit in this tiny dirty hole lots of people want to press them in. For centuries men have sexualized the women’s body and being and no one screams “you dirty little sucker” – so why do we do this to each other? Why should a man tell us what we should read? Right. We aren’t stuck in the 17th century and will never be again. So young ladies: read “porno” books, watch pornos, swoon over hot sexualized males – because this won’t doom the whole worlds being.
“They give men/women the wrong impression how sex should be/ how someone should look like.”
Thats another “oh dear” from me. Do I hear this even from the back rows? Yep! I don’t even know how people can’t loose their mind hearing such things. Girl/ boy are you watching tv? Movies? Netflix? Anything at all with your eyes? You do? Then you are a hypocrite. We all have crushes. Men on men, women on men, women on women, men on women. (and yes I know that is a bit to easy explained, but you get what I mean)
Because that is pretty normal! I have a huge crush for Gal Gadot, and I am not even near being homo- or bisexual. Do I now think I like girls? Nope. Do I think now my boyfriend should wear a Wonder Woman costume and rescue the world? Hell no! All human being are beautiful, but that doesn’t mean we should neglect the picture of full abs, long hair and sensual lips – because it’s only that: a picture in our heads.
But if you really think a book can be your rival then let me tell you as a very confident women: you are doing something wrong. My Boyfriend could watch 50 pornos a day and I wouldn’t think any less of myself or my capabilities. And he doesn’t feel less sexy or stuff only because I am wooing over Aquaman and his badass muscles and tattoos (he is the hottest right? – that’s no illusion of mine!)
If you really think a book can change how people will see you or if they want to be with you – than there is whole world of others problems in your life, but probably not the book. I don’t mean this in a mean way, but if you really think people wouldn’t or couldn’t like you because you don’t have badass abs or don’t have double D, then you should probably learn to love yourself first – because someone in this world will do then too – I promise. ( and don’t come at me with the length of his wingspan discussion – you have to learn some humor first to discuss this with me :D)
The Bookshelve Disaster
You all remember this big article I ranted about?
the hate you give – community hate speeches and my reaction to it
How can we crazy bookstagrammers be able to turn around all our spines and call it a day? Why are we insane and order our books by color, genre, name etc.?
There are really people who want to argue about this kind of question and I am lost in silence when I witness this. Don’t we have other problems? Some people like to live colorful, with candles, bookmarks and fairy lights in their shelves and only because it would drive me crazy from the inside that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with it. Live and to let live should hang in some homes in big capitals!
I mean for me books aren’t only decidable things – I really read them Vulture Magazine (watch me!), but after and before Ive read them they have to be stacked anywhere, and why, asking for a perfectionist, shouldn’t I make them look nice while they do stand around like beggars? This is really nothing I like to discuss with people. because I also doing discuss why they chose the red couch or the white tablecloth. Because it is not my concern!
This one is a big big NO! It happened to several ones of my friends and its the worst. People sometimes think they can copy fame and followers when they take other peoples pictures, post them on their own account without tagging these people and acting like they own these pictures. These people are thieves in my opinion and there is no situation in this world where this would be fine.
Imagine, this would happen to you. Like someone taking your art project, giving it to the teacher in an exam and telling the teacher its their own. Than they get an A and never mention it again. Or someone asking if they can read the book you are writing and then selling it to a publisher under their name. Taking away other peoples Photography is just the same and no one likes picture picker.
Get famous because you are wonderful, not because you are envious about others peoples creativity and follower count.
the end of hell
Okay I think you can see where I am coming from here. People get bashed because they disliked a book others loved. They get bashed when they don’t read diverse books OR when they want more diverse books. They feel superior to YA readers when they only read classics – or the other way around. People feel superior because they only read LGBTQ and other diverse books and hate on every fair skinned, blonde haired character they can find. Where does this come from?
Okay I am a full heart feminist, a migrants child (with blond hair by the way) who fights for equality and fairness all the time. BUT when I read I only read. Its just a story. Some mean more to me, some not. In my opinion authors can only write about the things they know, so why should a western author from Austria write a book about “black lives matter” in America? I hope that you all know I don’t meant that in a terrible way, but we can’t all tell the same stories, that’s why reading and writing is so great!
the very end
So what I want to say with this looooong (I know…) blogpost is: we all need more acceptance for ourselves and others. WE are a community, WE are bookstagram and WE ARE ONE. So if you ever were a victim of said things: I apologize for these people, they didn’t knew better. If you were a bokkstagram traitor that behaved in a judging way please think about how you want to be treated and treat others better than that 🙂 Believe me: give love and get love is a thing and makes daily life loooooots better!
I wish you all great stories and even better friends
Hey dear girl,
I cannot believe it took me so long to finally read your article – I’m so sorry.
I am honestly surprised this age-long fight of magazines and newspapers against bookstagrammers is still going on. As your whole blogpost says: Let’s not focus on the hate, but rather the positive. Still, it’s incredible to me how some people can’t get into their heads that people might enjoy taking pretty pictures AND read a book. Like lighting colourful candles WHILE turning pages and consuming words.
I am slightly disagreeing on the body image part, because I think porn (not just the bookish version, but the actual visual one) do portray a distorted image. Not just of our bodies, but also actions and pleasure in itself and is supporting sexist stereotypes and roles in a myriad of ways. But that’s another topic that could fill whole books. 🙂
Thanks for speaking out and spreading positivity!
Hey my love 😊
I am just happy that you found the time to read it!
And yes you are probably right! It’s a really small path between reality and imaginative reality! I often find myself that something should be more like in the books I am reading and that’s probably very wrong! But in my opinion exactly like you said not only bookish related but all media’s!