this is a big selfcare post for all the people out there who feel bad on valentines day, or just in general, with themselves. Maybe you think now, why am I talking about selfcare and what does it have to do with you?
we all know the daily struggle. We see all these amazing people out there and sometimes there is this little voice in our head. It whispers horrible things to us. “You are not worth it.” – “You are ugly” – “you will never be as successful as him/her” – “Your work is shit” – or one of the worsts: “They don’t love you.”
But what is it that we think our only worth is to be loved by others, when we apparently don’t even love ourselves? It is important for a human being to be loved. It’s one of the only things that makes us feel real happiness. But what if we could give this feeling to ourselves? What if we are enough? If we are loved? If we are successful? And all of that because we can accomplish the biggest life challenge of all: To love ourselves?
The words “happy” and “love” are so short, so simple, and yet they are the most difficult words in the world. What do they really mean and why are there a million different versions of love and happiness out there?
That’s probably a bit too philosophic for most of you, but I think especially today, where self love is item to propaganda and advertisement (hello valentines day you little bugger), its even more difficult to find out what makes us really happy, and what the medias want us to believe should make us happy, and love ourselves. Especially on these commercial days like Christmas, valentines Day and else it is super important to don’t lose the focus on what is really important! So here comes my totally un-adversitory advice guide 🙂
Listen to your body
I know how hard this is with all the people around us who want to tell us how we should feel, what we should accomplish in our lives and how we should live said lives. But our body is our compass and it only listens to itself and its needs. So you should listen to it too.
when you feel exhausted, tired or unhappy, just take a break and listen to your body. What does it need? Sleep? A tight hug from your mom or maybe some rest in form of sports and mediation? Look into your calendar and shove free some time for your body and soul care. I found that even twenty minutes yoga a day make my life looooots better and my bad back is super thankful for it too.
Is there a pain that always comes back? Your hand hurts or your back (like mine)? Do you have a migraine or bad moods? Listen to your body and please be wiser than me and visit a doctor. If your body hurts this is a sign that it needs help – and you should help him, not try harder and harder until your body gives up by itself. (If you often have the cold or other chronic problems that might be a sign that something is not right inside of your body.)
your mind is also a part of your body. Never forget that. And please please please never forget that mental illnesses are just that: an illness. So don’t be shy to look out for help. You don’t have to go to a therapist directly if you don’t feel comfortable with that. Maybe you have a real understanding boyfriend or a great mum or coworker. Just someone you trust that always has your best in mind. Talk to them. Sometimes just a few changes or words can make your life better – and maybe someday you will be strong enough to search for the core of your problem 🙂
yes we all know THE selfceare tip: Take a bath and relax. Well but selfcare and self love is a lot more than using a bath bomb right? I think why people often suggest this is the following: you are taking a bath alone, so you can’t do anything else while you are bathing and thats why body and mind can finally relax and leave all the problems and tasks behind.
instead of searching for ways to get THE beach body, or have less cellulite or what else you hate about your body. Search for the things you love and let them stand out. Maybe take a artsy photo session were you document all the parts you love of yourself. And instead of crying over the clothes that don’t fit your body, search for the pieces that make you feel like a goddamn goddess and keep only wearing them.
Listen to your mind
the same as your body it can be your best friend or your worst enemy. So try to be good to your mind and maybe it will be nice back 🙂 For example:
drink enough, so your brain will have enough fluid and will think and work properly
take some fresh air when you feel drowsy or stuck up.
sleep enough. And if you cant sleep properly try some oils or lavender tea or anything that will make you tired enough. Maybe your mind can’t stop thinking about something: finish your tasks so your mind will be free
write a list about the things you like about yourself and keep it in your wallet or journal – or maybe ask your friends what they like about you. This way you’ll always carry around your positive vibes
try to “off” the world sometimes. Go into the spa with a friend, or on a coffee date. Go alone into a library and browse through the stories for hours as much as you like. We need some off time sometimes. Off work. Off home. Offline. We definitely need some more off in everything we do.
Listen to your soul
Thats the most difficult and most intriguing part of overthinking yourself and trying to be happy in my opinion. The question: Is this the life you want? Are you happy with this situation? Could you change something to get your goals become reality?
Talk to your friends about your life. For real. You will know really fast what you hate about your life, what you love and what your deepest wish is, just by talking about your life how it currently is. Trust me. We often suppress stuff we think we cant change, but in a long coffee talk with our bestie or mum/dad/sister/brother everything comes to the surface
every human being needs interaction in a way. So don’t only cuddle up all alone in your bed and call it a selfcare time.
selfcare is not only a day off, a spa visit or some great body butter. Selfcare means: caring for yourself. Try to eat more healthy, help your body stay healthy, try to help your mind to focus. Selfcare also means: be good to yourself. Don’t put hate, or scars on your body. Care for it like you would for your most loved person. Because yes loving others is strong. But loving yourself just as you are is even stronger.
If you want to read more about self love, workaholics and more, here are some more blogposts for you 🙂